stARS

stars are just small little balls of gas

small little balls of gas waiting to shine to their fullest potential, before fizzling out like water on a hot pan.

stars are bright shining beams of “hope”

the “hope” I’m constantly praying for when I look up to the sky to pray to someone or something that I’m not even sure I believe in, to look at those stars twinkle and shine and wish how that could be me.

how i wish that i could believe in that “hope” you talk so dearly about

the “hope” that made me think i was actually someone worthy of your recognition, worthy of your time.

but time and time again my “hopes” were shattered and once again you let me down.

i fizzled out like that splash of water on that hot pan, i fizzled out like a small little ball of gas.

i‘m constantly in search of liberation, liberation from the “hope” that I should be waiting for

i’m constantly in search of that calm i know i could have, the calm that I desperately need.

but once again i find myself looking out my window, looking up at those damn stars, praying to that damn something or someone that i most likely don’t believe in, watching those stars shine bright.

i’m nothing like a star nor the gas that it turns into, i don’t think I’m that good for that. Maybe I’m the blackness that those stars light up or the space that those stars fill up.

who knows, i sure as hell don’t.