ghost

Have I mastered the art of loss?

Have I mastered the art of coping with all control being stripped from me?

Forever swallowing that lump in my throat at the thought of you and your eyes

And forever silently letting tears fall down my cheeks onto my pillow as I cry myself to sleep yet again

I can’t seem to get out from under this feeling

The feeling of your hands on my back pushing me off a building

And the way I immediately reach out for your grasp, for your safety and its never there.

The feeling of nothing underneath me as im falling into a dark abyss I want nothing to do with and you’re unconsciously sending me there

With your lack of words and lack of touch

With your lack of manners and your lack of love

How could I have fallen for you?

Let my heart remotely even allow you to touch her?

You were a ghost- not even a shell of one simply a ghost

And even in my most clear moments im yet still so confused

How could I have touched a ghost? How could I have felt your presence? The way your touch made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up

How could I have possibly felt our bodies intertwining into one? It had to have been real- i’m still confused

How could you have been so real yet so artificial?